The Mess

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

If saving lives (or reducing deaths) is the goal, then considerations of all causes are in order.

COVID-19 is not the only killer on the loose right now.

Here’s just one small example:

Did you know that heart attacks spike every year at Daylight Savings?  Hospitals report a 24% increase the Monday after the Springtime switch.  They also report a 21% dip the Monday after the Fall reversal.

That’s from just 1 hour of altered sleep.

How much physical and psychological impact do you think occurs from an imposed economic shutdown that threatens the livelihoods of the masses?  Losing your job and endangering your family is far more jarring than a single hour of sleep loss on a single night of the year.

But the repercussions of this shutdown reach into myriad other avenues of devastation and death.

To pretend that we’re on a course to eradicate this virus by huddling in our bunkers and not coming out until it’s gone is insane — unscientific, irrational, and contradictory to the medical experts’ initial call for curve flattening.

Our aim in taking the hit of temporary closure was to not overwhelm our hospital systems and thus spare loss of life from those unable to be treated due to limited capacity concerns.  The vast majority of hospital systems never came close to capacity.  A targeted few were temporarily maxed out (social distancing + rapid resource response worked). 

For those locales still at or near capacity, local decisions can and should be made to (a) expand capacity and (b) continue the slow spread.

For everyone and everywhere else, this is not the case.  The cure, as they say, is becoming (or already is) worse than the disease.

And “the cure” is not for the disease itself.  It’s for the avoidance of overrun medical facilities.  The actual victory over the disease will come from healthy immune systems — from antibodies to the virus in a significant proportion of the population.  This requires exposure.

What is happening now, though, is what typically happens from protected central seats of control: overreach and political power plays.  Opportunistic authorities ignore rationality (and even medical guidance) and flex their governing power to see what all they can get away with.

After all, governmental power only exists when there is a needy people to govern (whether those needs are actual or merely perceived).

This is not “conspiracy theory.” This is human nature and this is history lived out.

As the author in this thread aptly states:

“I enjoy studying history, but I have no interest in seeing the French Revolution part deux in this country. All y’all who think you can condescendingly lecture people who are genuinely worried about keeping their homes and feeding their families are trying to light that match.”


Actions have consequences.  None of us can escape that reality.


Intentional Spend

Stewardship is often spoken of across three domains: time, talent, and treasure. When we budget ourselves, we’re supposed to look at each area and spend (or invest) wisely.

I hate budgets. Always have. I see the need for them. I even appreciate their use, but in my mind I’ve always preferred a contrary approach to spend plans.

My perspective on matters of finance is typically to ask “What can I do to earn what I need?” rather than “What do I have to do without to live within my current means?”

But, as I’m getting a few miles under my belt, I’m realizing the shortsightedness of that view when it comes to a broader look at stewardship — one that takes all three domains into account.

Context on the term is helpful here. In the New Testament there is a Greek word used which we translate into our English word stewardship. Transliterated it’s oikonomia.

It comes from two distinct root words: oikos, meaning “house,” and nomos, meaning “law.” Together, it literally means the “law of the house” or the “administration of household affairs”.

The historical use often referenced a household servant managing the resources of the family on behalf of the paternal head. The idea being that there is a limited amount to spend and it has to be distributed wisely, efficiently, and effectively across a prioritized list of needs.

The entrepreneur in me sees a financial need and immediately begins plotting a way to earn the gap between my account balance and the price tag of whatever is in view. That works, to some degree, in the treasure domain, but what happens when you venture into the other areas?

Time and talents are different altogether. Talents, to some degree, can be sharpened, but by and large we’re gifted with certain strengths and aren’t likely to excel in areas contrary to our natural bent. And time…oh, that incessant time…it never grows. From the day your born it does nothing but shrink away, one tiny tick at a time.

And so, as one called by God to steward the resources He’s given me, I need to remember to spend them wisely. The same goes for you.

Spending is a necessary first step. But there will come a time, and the sooner the better, where we dads need to look beyond the expense of our resources for short term transactions and start investing them for long term yields.

“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children…”

Proverbs 13:23

What am I doing today that will yield a return, not just in my daughter’s life, but in my future granddaughter’s as well?

How can I apportion my time, talent, and treasure to leave this world a better place for the generations to come?

What about you?


What!? You Want Me to Wait!?

When you’re two years old, being asked to wait 5 seconds is paramount to being sentenced to eternity in prison with no chance of parole.

This morning my little angel had in her mind to lay a blanket out on the living room floor. That’s a fun enough place to play. Good for her.

The problem with that scenario is that the idea to do so popped into her adorable little head about 2 seconds before mom was aiming to vacuum that particular room.

At the time, I didn’t know what was happening, but from the other side of the house, through multiple walls and a closed bathroom door, I could immediately tell that a crisis of the highest order was occurring.

What!? You want me to wait!? Nooooo!!!

My wife is so patient and calm. I heard her trying to have a gentle, levelheaded conversation with Miss Panic.

Meanwhile, I started yelling in my classic frustration voice, “Stop whining! You can’t cry just because you’re not getting what you want right now!”

“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”

Ecclesiastes 7:9

Patience is a virtue. I want to teach it to my daughter. Step one: practice it myself.

Dad Fails

Why Are Monsters Mean?

I think monsters are actually nice people who are just really sleepy.

Do you remember what it was like to sleep well? To sleep in…late? It feels like a distant dream, but there once was a time when I was more or less rested.

There once was a time when I was pleasant, peaceful, maybe even a bit amicable.


I have unquestionably the most lovable, adorable daughter in the entire world.  It’s not from my genes — she gets it from her mom for sure. But I’d wager that no sane person could be around her and not be absolutely smitten.

That’s why I believe monsters are just nice, sleepy people. Because this morning, like so many in the past two and a half years of dadding, I’m exhausted and that exhaustion led to cranky monster dad turning what could’ve been a sweet moment into a jerk storm.

The Apostle Paul once wrote a letter to the church in Ephesus where he gave an interesting piece of instruction:

“Be angry, and do not sin.”

Ephesians 4:26

If I may reverently borrow his rubric to jot down my own little admonition, today I hope to be sleepy, and still not mean.

…and maybe aim to sleep more going forward to avoid the problem in the first place.


While He’s Down…Stampede

I’m pretty sure that God cares more about our holiness than our happiness. He certainly cares about both, but there has to be a lean towards the former. Don’t you think?

And, given that ranking, I’m fairly convinced that a lot of my discomfort in life is actually my kind, gracious, loving, steel-toe-boot-wearing, heavenly Father giving me the righteous kick in the pants that I need to pay attention to what He’s teaching me.

Lately, though, it seems He’s turned up the juice and wave after wave of holy stomps are landing while I’m down on the floor in fetal position.

“For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

Hebrews 12:6

I don’t think He’s being mean. In fact, on the heels of round 7 or 8, I finally stopped trying to solve my own problems and started turning to Him for help.

Guess what happened…He helped!

I’m bruised a bit and still quite sore in most places, but that overwhelming weight of trying to solve the massive pile of unsolvable problems I’d managed to collect has lifted and I feel like I can breathe again.

Discipline applied wisely and delivered in love is a gift. Just another lesson for this dad to learn.


A Mom Blog for Dads

Just kidding. This better not turn into one of those. If it does, I’ll be the first to shut it down.

I’m not sure exactly what all will come of this site, but as it stands now, I’m hoping to use it to think out loud a bit and eventually have you all join in the conversation.

My working hypothesis is that the world needs more dads — not just sperm donors, but actual dads. You know, those men who love their families so much that they show up (on purpose) and stick around for the long haul.

I’m only a few years into the gig myself, so there is essentially everything still left to learn. As I do, I plan to share. I hope you’ll do the same.